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BLAIRSTOWN, NJ. 3:35 AM EST. In a shocking setback for one of the least-known stars of online manga and anime reviews, Benjamin Clifford was arrested early this morning by federal agents.

Clifford, according to an FBI spokesperson, had systematically sucked psychic energy from his tiny legion of fans by repeatedly promising them a new episode of his podcast, the “Multidimensional Ninja Network,” and then failing to deliver.

“This was not mere laziness or stupidity,” said the spokesman, who remained hooded throughout the press conference, spoke through a distorting microphone, and lurked behind a wall of bulletproof glass. “Clifford’s persona as a groggy, unfocused slacker simply unable to get his shit together together was, in fact, the carefully-constructed mask of an arch-fiend and terrorist. We are also investigating links to Al Qaeda, for whom we believe Clifford may have served as a court jester and batboy, and a possible clandestine biological weapons program in his underwear drawer.”

The FBI said that Clifford will be indicted under the RICO Act on conspiracy charges as well as under a variety of state, federal, and corporate anti-teasing statutes. If convicted on all counts, he faces a life sentence as a human urinal in a Greyhound Bus terminal to be chosen democratically by the cast of American Idol.

Clifford’s lawyer, holding forth at a small go-go bar named “Frooty’s” in Paterson, New Jersey, said that he was not aware of Clifford’s arrest and did not “give two shakes of a rat’s ass what happens to that twisted little procrastinator. I hope they lock him up and throw away the jail.”


March 18, 2008 - Posted by | announcment, archives


  1. interesting case

    Comment by leasing | May 21, 2008 | Reply

  2. good work

    Comment by kobi | May 25, 2008 | Reply

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